Summer Love: Part 5
A quick analysis of Paul’s instruction count (from verses 4 to 7) is 7 instances of “Love is” versus 8 instances of “Love is not.” Usually when you teach a new topic you don’t spend time teaching what that topic is not. For example, if you were defining a hot dog you wouldn’t say, “it’s not a watermelon.” So why does Paul give more examples of what love is not than what it actually is?
I would hazard a guess that usually people don’t specifically see “love” in the fullness of the word. We usually only see the effects of one person’s love for another. With the limited understanding we have of love, often the best we can do is see what other people do that are “in love” and try to mimic that. For instance, my dad buys my mom flowers. My dad loves my mom. Therefore I should buy flowers for someone I love. The problem is that love is much deeper than that. Giving flowers is only the last step in the process. People don’t usually see the more private, internal manifestation of love because it develops over long periods of continual contact. I believe it’s because of this often hidden source of love that Paul resorts to describing how God’s true love affects your actions. Some actions are increased while other actions are removed. It’s a combination of both acting on the positive and removing the negative that Paul uses to define our growing love.
(1) Love is not rude or discourteous or impolite especially in a deliberate way. These kind of actions are not illegal, but are often classified as unrefined or improper in regards to cultural norms. Now I’m not saying to throw out what the Bible commands us to do in order to satisfy cultural standards, but if those actions don’t conflict with God’s Word then you are purposefully offending someone when you try to buck the system. Paul tells us to act socially in a way that encourages one another (1 Corinthians 8:9).
(2) Love does not demand its own way. This is a demanding stance in a selfish and childish way. You are making an inappropriate demand out of you need to feel superior or your fear that you are insignificant. You are attempting to impose your will on someone else to feel better. We should not be tearing each other down but building each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
(3) Love is not irritable or easily angered. This harkens back to Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 5:21-22. He puts anger on the same scale as murder. Here he’s saying that only difference between anger and murder is the action. In both instances you’ve already crossed the line because of your desire for bad things to happen to someone else. Love desires the best for one another (Mark 12:30-31).
(4) Love keeps no record of wrongs. By collecting these records of past afflictions you begin to build a wall around yourself. This wall provides a protective barrier from future occurrences, but at the same time you’ve created a barrier to prevent love from reaching you. Out of fear you build your own wall of protection, but true love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18).
The common factor I see in these four negative actions are that they are traits of immaturity. Our sinful nature often resorts to these traits out of fear in an attempt to protection of ourselves, however in the long run acting like this is more likely to be self-destructive. In defense of these actions, the common cure leans somewhere in the direction of encouragement. Encouragement focuses on improving the well-being of others. In this way we build each other up, desire the best of one another, and focus on the positive. So the next time you really want to be rude or selfish or shove it in someone’s face, act against your sinful nature and let the Holy Spirit work in you to love that person in encouragement instead.
If you give someone a dozen roses (or any even number of flowers):
in Russia
everywhere else (except those other places where it’s offensive)
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